Home Relationships How to Disagree with Family without Destroying Relationships

How to Disagree with Family without Destroying Relationships

It was Benjamin Franklin who as soon as mentioned, “In the course of my commentary, the disputing, contradicting, and refuting persons are typically unlucky of their affairs. They get victory generally, however they by no means get good will, which might be of extra use to them.”

His observations make sense in gentle of the various relationships being destroyed by means of cussed disagreements and irreconcilable variations. It’s unhappy to witness whole households divided when the Bible offers us clear course on methods to disagree with our family members without letting these disagreements destroy {our relationships}.

There’s a robust passage of Scripture in James 3:17-18 that claims, “But the knowledge that comes from heaven is initially pure; then peace-loving, thoughtful, submissive, filled with mercy and good fruit, neutral and honest. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.” It’s the knowledge present in these verses that give us steerage on how to navigate disagreements without letting them get blown out of proportion.

I pray these biblical attributes will provide you with a brand new perspective in dealing with family members who aren’t on the identical web page as you. I pray that they’ll assist you diffuse ongoing arguments and dissensions inside your loved ones. Most of all, I pray that you’ll have peace and unity in your entire relationships shifting ahead.

1. Be Peace-Loving

There are those that love peace and those that love to combat. But for Christians, having a combative spirit doesn’t convey the unity that God wishes. Even whenever you disagree with relations, strive to be peaceable about it. Purpose to be somebody who’s sort, light, and peace-loving because the Bible instructs:

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be known as sons of God.” Matthew 5:9

“And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.” James 3:18

“Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.” 2 Corinthians 3:11

Being a peacemaker doesn’t mean you compromise God’s truth. It does, however, mean you keep love front-and-center. When you love others despite their opinions and beliefs, you’re promoting a sense of peace that cannot easily be overturned. You can disagree with family and still keep the bond of peace in Jesus’ name.

Let’s pray. Gracious God, please help me be a peace-maker according to Your word. Instead of having an argumentative nature, help me seek peace and unity within my family relationships. Forgive me for being combative and stubborn at times. I seek heavenly wisdom today by loving peace and seeking to be peaceful with everyone. In Jesus’ name, amen.

More resources that promote peace:

4 Steps to Being a Peace Maker

What Does “Blessed Are the Peacemakers” Mean in Matthew 5:9?

The Peacemakers

2. Be Considerate

Listening effectively, talking calmly, responding as an alternative of reacting…these are all biblical methods of exhibiting consideration to somebody you disagree with. In distinction, harsh phrases that assault, minimize folks down, or show rudeness by no means convey decision to the argument. Be thoughtful of relations who disagree with you. Try to put your self of their sneakers and perceive why they consider what they consider.

Chances are, whenever you stay sort and thoughtful, you’ll diffuse arguments as an alternative of igniting them. And hopefully, you’ll be seen as a “secure” individual that family members can flip to in occasions of want.

The Bible says this about being thoughtful:

“Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, however in humility rely others extra vital than yourselves. Let every of you look not solely to his personal pursuits, but in addition to the pursuits of others.” Philippians 2:3-4

“Speak evil of no one, avoid quarreling, be gentle, and show perfect courtesy toward all people.” Titus 3:2

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 7:12

Being considerate isn’t difficult when we focus on doing unto others what we would have them do unto us. This Golden Rule is a beautiful rule to follow—especially when we disagree. Don’t let a lack of consideration destroy your relationships.

Let’s pray. Heavenly Father, help us develop a heart of consideration for others and live by the Golden Rule. Remind us to treat our loved ones as we would like to be treated. Show us how to be considerate even when we don’t feel like it. In Jesus’ name, amen.

More resources to help you be considerate:

Be Considerate

7 Attributes of the Considerate Christian

3. Be Submissive

Submission has turn into a adverse phrase in our society, however it’s a constructive motion within the Scriptures. As talked about in Ephesians 5:21, “Submit to each other out of reverence for Christ.”

Rather than making an attempt to be proper on a regular basis, why not agree to disagree with a coronary heart of grace and submission? This doesn’t imply you submit to false beliefs or concepts that oppose the Bible, however as an alternative, you submit to stopping unfruitful arguments earlier than they destroy your relationships. Submission isn’t an indication of weak point, however as an alternative, a portrayal of nice power. Even if the opposite particular person views it as cowardly or weak, God views it as peace-loving and sensible.

The Bible exhibits us how to be submissive in these passages:

“Likewise, you who’re youthful, be topic to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility towards each other, for ‘God opposes the proud however offers grace to the common-or-garden.’”  1 Peter 5:5

“Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.” Hebrews 13:17

Commit to being submissive to those who oppose you, stating the truth then letting God work. Allow the Holy Spirit to move by submitting to others out of reverence for Christ.

Let’s pray. Holy God, help us to be submissive in order to show others humility. Prevent us from fueling arguments from a place of resistance, and instead, allow submission to show our loved ones that we are committed to You. In Jesus’ name, amen.

More resources for submission:

Submitting to One Another

What You Need to Know about the Meaning of Submission in the Bible

4. Be Filled with Mercy

Showing mercy to others can transfer mountains in relationships. Mercy dissolves arguments and speaks volumes to the receiver. It gives an prolonged hand of heat and camaraderie even within the worst of disagreements. Instead of judging or criticizing your family members, strive providing a little bit of mercy, even when it’s tough. It will probably be one of many quickest methods to cease a heated argument and convey unity.

The Bible is filled with encouragement to be merciful:

“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and persistence.” Colossians 3:12

“For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.” James 2:13

“He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” Micah 6:8

As you are filled with God’s mercy, let it overflow to others. In your family disagreements, decide to remain peace-loving, considerate, submissive, and full of mercy. You’ll not only keep your relationships intact, but you’ll also be better equipped to witness to those who aren’t walking with the Lord.

Let’s pray. Merciful God, show us how to offer mercy to those who oppose us. Instead of continuing to argue, help us take a step back and realize that mercy triumphs over every disagreement. Most of all, help us keep the unity of peace for the sake of Your name. Amen.

Related Resource: Listen to our FREE podcast, Faith Over Fear! You can discover all of our episodes on LifeAudio.com. Listen beneath to our newest episode on anxiousness:

Photo credit score: ©Getty Images/evgenyatamanenko

Jennifer Waddle is the creator of a number of books, together with Prayer WORRIER: Turning Every Worry into Powerful Prayerand is an everyday contributor for LifeWay, Crosswalk, Abide, and Christians Care International. Jennifer’s on-line ministry is EncouragementMama.com the place yow will discover her books and join her weekly publish, Discouragement Doesnt Win. She resides with her household close to the foothills of the Rocky Mountains—her favourite place on earth.

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